Everwell Mama

Creating Routines for Calm: Mom Life Simplified

• Siobhan Bingham • Season 1 • Episode 12

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Hey Mama, feeling like you're spinning your wheels trying to stay on top of everything? This episode is all about creating routines to simplify your busy mom life! We’ll dive into why routines matter, how they bring structure to the chaos, and most importantly, how to make sure you are included in the routines—not just your kids or household.

Learn three simple steps to tweak your morning or bedtime routine to feel less scrambled, more supported, and totally doable for your current season of motherhood.

In this episode, you’ll learn:

  • Why routines are essential for creating structure in the chaos of mom life.
  • How to include yourself in your family’s routines without adding more to your plate.
  • Three simple steps to simplify your routines: starting small, staying flexible, and focusing on what matters.
  • How to model self-care for your kids through everyday habits.
  • Practical tips to align your routines with your energy and goals, not societal expectations.

Noteworthy quotes from this episode:
"Routines really help us to create structure in chaos..."
 
"We are not trying to overhaul your whole life. That is just a recipe for disaster. Start small. See how it feels, and build from there."

"Where are the routines for you? So much of what we do as moms is for our kids or our households, but your routines should include you just as much as everyone else."

"Your kids are learning not from what you say, but from what you do. Model the behavior of taking care of yourself so they can learn how to care for themselves."

"Life happens. Momming happens. The days don’t always go as planned, so having flexibility in your routine is essential for sticking with it long-term."

Connect with Siobhan:

About Siobhan Bingham

Siobhan Bingham coaches working moms to boost their energy to show up better for their kids, their partner, their work, and themselves. Using her ALIGN framework, she provides personalized strategies to break free from exhaustion and create a daily rhythm that works with your life—not against it.



 Hey there, Mama. If you feel like you're spinning your wheels trying to stay on top of everything all the time, this episode is for you. Have you ever started your day and you feel like you're already falling behind? You're rushing the kids to eat, brush their teeth, get dressed, and get out the door while trying to pack the bags, get yourself ready.

All of this is before 8am. Wow. Today we are talking all about routines to simplify mom life because we have enough on our plates as it is. And making a routine that leaves us feeling a little less scrambled is so helpful to having a good day. Hey Mama, welcome to the Everwell Mama Podcast. The place where we explore simple, sustainable, Self care and wellness strategies to help you feel your best while managing your busy life.

I'm Siobhan Bingham. A holistic life and wellness coach here to guide you as we uncover practical tools that will actually stick so you can enjoy self care without the guilt trip. Whether you're a new listener or returning for more, I'm so glad you're here. Let's dive into the next step on your journey to becoming an ever well mama.

So let's get into why routines even matter. Routines really help us to create structure in chaos and make our self care feel like it's automatic. Whenever you are thinking of anything that you do and it's feeling a little overwhelming, Writing down that to do list, feeling like you've got a little bit more control of the situation, feeling like there's more structure in place is helpful for not only you, but also your kids.

Kids thrive on structure. And when we have a routine in place, it makes it easier to stick to what we have said we're going to do. And so when self care is included in your routine, it makes it feel more automatic. So first let's think about all the routines that you've already got in place. You've probably got some sort of bedtime routine and morning routine going for you already.

Bedtime is probably something like getting outfits ready for tomorrow, packing lunches, maybe a load of laundry, doing dishes or cleaning up in the kitchen, cleaning up toys and tidying up, bath time, putting on pajamas, all of the hygiene things like brushing teeth, washing faces, lotion, all that kind of stuff.

Maybe read books together and then everyone goes to their beds. Sound familiar? Then morning is when we're getting everything where it needs to go, right? We are making sure that All of the bags are packed how they need to be packed. We're making sure that everyone is dressed in clean clothes and that they are on the bus, or in the car, or at daycare, or at work.

Whatever it is, we're making sure that everything that needs to go somewhere is going to the right place. But most of those things that I just mentioned are for your kids or for your household to run smoothly, right? Where are the routines for you? I really want you to think about that. Where are the routines that are just for you throughout the day?

So often in motherhood, we hear this word of sacrifice, that to be a mother is to sacrifice everything for your kids. And yeah, you're going to be a good mom. You're going to give up some things for your kids, but you shouldn't have to give up yourself for your kids. And to get out of the sacrifice mentality and know that you can in fact take care of yourself while also taking care of your kids and the rest of your family and others outside of your family as well, all of those routines should include you as much as the other members of your family.

So if you're looking, if you're listening and you're thinking, okay, Siobhan, I get it, but how do I do that? I'm going to give you just three simple steps to simplify your routines. So the first step is to start small. I'm sure you've seen me say this many times before, but we are not trying to overhaul your whole life.

That is just a recipe for disaster. You are not going to make big changes and have them be sustainable. You need to start with one little area, one little task. See how it feels, see if it works. If it does, great! Do it more often. Then you're building in a habit. You're building that routine. If you all of a sudden are going from never working out to working out for 60 minutes, doing some high intensity interval training, I promise you that's going to quit real fast.

But if you are determined to take an extra 500 steps a day, that is something easy that you can test out, see if you like it and then keep doing it and build up that habit if you so choose. Going back into specific routines though, because I want to talk about more than just exercise, I want you to pick one area of your life, and since we're kind of sticking with morning and bedtime routine, think about which one of those feels easiest for you to make a change in.

My clients often choose bedtime first because there's a little bit more flexibility in the amount of time that you have at that time of the day. But, if you want more of a challenge, or you've started making small tweaks already, especially from listening to previous episodes, but you just need a little extra oomph, then pick a time that feels the most chaotic right now.

Maybe it's the morning when you're rushing to get everyone ready. Or, maybe it's at bedtime when you're feeling like you're a little extra exhausted and you just want everyone to go to sleep. Once you get that area though, whether it's your morning routine or your bedtime routine, I want you to think of a way that you can include yourself into that routine that you've already got.

So again, I'm not trying to add more to your plate, and I'm not trying to take away things that need to be done, right? We have to make sure that our kids have clean clothes on. We have to make sure that everyone's eating. Those are things that have to be done. But, can you also include yourself in that?

Can you make sure that you have a nice outfit that you'll feel comfortable in for the next day? Can you make sure that you are also packing yourself a healthy lunch with lots of options? Can you make sure that while everyone else is brushing their teeth that you're brushing your teeth, too? One of the ways that I have seen great success for not only myself, but my clients as well is using bath time to do your skincare routine.

Obviously your little kids are not gonna have the same level of skincare routine that you are, so it's not always going to work to do your skincare at the same time that they're Quickly washing off their face and putting on some lotion, right? So while they're in the bath and they're playing and they're having fun, so long as you've got old enough kids to do so, then it would be a great time for you to do your skincare routine.

Or you could have dad or another support person come in and spot the baby who is not old enough to sit up safely in the bathtub while you get that done. Step two is you want to make it flexible. So, if you have heard anything about goal setting in the past, you have probably heard of SMART goals. That stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time based.

The biggest piece here that I want you to really think of in terms of your routine building is the realistic piece. Is this something that actually fits into your season of motherhood? Again, we're not trying to, to do a big, huge change here. If you want to add in something that is doable for you, because if it's not doable, you're not going to do it.

For me, something that's really realistic and doable is when I am getting my kids a glass of water to drink or I am getting them a quick snack, I make sure that I'm getting something for myself as well. So whether that is me also filling up a cup of water for myself or I get a little extra Of whatever snack they're having that way.

I am making sure that I'm being cared for as well. I'm not just eating the crumbs off of their plate. I'm having my own snack. I'm getting my own hydration needs met and I'm showing my kids that I am taking care of me too because they need you to model that behavior. They are learning not from what you say, but from what you do.

So it's really important that you're able to properly care for yourself and show them that this is what it looks like to be a mom who's caring for herself. And we want this to be flexible because life happens, right? Momming happens. One day, everything will be going really smoothly. And then the next day, everyone's homesick.

Everyone's got fevers, whatever it is. Things happen. The days don't always go exactly how we plan, so having some flexibility in your routine will be extremely helpful for you being able to stick to it long term. So depending on what it is that you're adding into your routine, having that flexibility of either the time of day that it happens, or the order in which it happens, or even the number of days in a week that it happens can make a huge difference for you.

So for example, I have been working on writing a book for a while now, and I realized that the reason I wasn't being as productive in continuing to write it was because I didn't understand my biggest goal for why I wanted to write it. And ever since I got that, I have really been motivated and excited about jumping into the story that I'm creating.

But, as a busy mom, it's not always easy to find the time to get lost in writing a story. So, to make sure that I am being flexible in creating that writing routine for myself, I am committing to writing three days a week. I don't say what specific day because life happens, but I'm committed to writing for three days a week for 10 to 40 minutes, and that's my goal.

And however long it takes me to get there. That's fine. I'm slowly building up this habit and I'm slowly going to get it done. I'm working towards my end goal and I'll get there with these small baby steps. All right. And then tip number three is to focus on what matters. Whatever it is that you're choosing has to be something that aligns with your energy and with your goals, not society's expectations.

I'm not telling you that you're going to be sitting there making bento boxes that look beautiful just because you saw some mom on Instagram doing it. I need you to choose something that fits how much energy you have right now in your day. So if you have more energy at night than in the morning, maybe you're going to add in some extra care for yourself at night rather than in the morning.

Or vice versa. If you're like kaput by the end of the day, don't be adding extra stuff to the end of your day, mama. You're not going to do it. So fit it in with your energy levels, but also your long term goals, right? What is your why of building in this routine? Why do you want to make a small change? Why does this need to happen for you?

And it's not about because you saw someone say that you should do it. It's not because I'm telling you that it would be good for you to do it. It has to come from within your, the four walls of your home. For you to really stick to it and feel good about doing it. And here's the big kicker for you. All of these little routines that you do for your family are ways that you're showing your family that you care for them.

My husband is a grown ass man. He can pack his own lunch, but I can also pack his lunch while I'm packing lunch for the kids too. I don't mind doing that. And it's a way that I can easily show him that I love him and I'm taking care of him. In the same way, I need to make sure that I am including myself in routines to care for myself and show my self love.

And you need to do the same thing too. You need to make sure that you are including yourself in the care that you give to others. Because this is going to help you to feel better, to be more present for your family, and to have more energy day to day. And so why routines? Why do we need to have it be something that we're doing regularly?

Because if you're not doing it regularly, you're probably not gonna do it. But also because when we do something in a routine setting, It gets us into the habit of meeting that need for ourself and meeting that need for others over and over and over and over and over again. We're not having to sit there overthinking, oh, should I do like the cucumbers or the, or the peppers?

What veggie should I add in today? You're just going to be quickly grabbing something and doing it because you're so used to doing it that it doesn't take as much of your mental load anymore. It's going to reduce your decision fatigue because you're going to be able to say, at this time, approximately, I'm going to do this.

I don't have to think about, should I be doing this or should I be doing that right now? Should I be doing this or should I be doing that right now? It's already going to be there and in a routine for you to follow. Just like your kids know that they're going to have a bath, they're going to get their PJs on, they're going to read a book, and then they're going to get a song to go to sleep, or whatever your bedtime routine looks like, your body will naturally know, I'm going to get my needs met at this point.

So, you're not going to be overthinking what you're doing. You're going to feel calmer knowing that you're getting that need met. And, you're going to be getting that little burst of dopamine every time you actually do it. Because you're rewarding yourself for having completed that of care. And just to give you some really practical, small, easy, mom friendly routines to try.

If we are talking about the morning, maybe you're going to do some stretching. Do some deep breaths, journaling, having that warm drink before the kids wake up, or having just a grown up conversation with your husband before you have to start your day. If we're talking about an afternoon reset, maybe you're going to do a quick walk around the block, or maybe you're going to not talk to anybody in the lunchroom.

If it's the evening, maybe you're going to do a no screen zone and have that boundary in place for 30 minutes before bed for you and the kids. All of these are some small ideas to try and would really fit into my Align framework in terms of activating your body's energy and nurturing your daily rhythm.

All of my clients and myself have really benefited from it. From being able to have a daily rhythm that works for us, having a routine that actually fits our life, our needs at the time, rather than trying to fit everyone else's idea. Of what the perfect routine should look like. So if that all sounds a little overwhelming right now, totally fair.

But I really want to reassure you, really, and encourage you to just try it out. Because you never know what's gonna stick and what's not. And you're not going to know what you like until you try it. Okay? Just like the broccoli on your kid's plate. They're not going to know if they like it until they try it.

And you're not going to know if you like this new routine until you try it. And it takes time to build them up. So, do a little test. See if you like it. If it feels good, then keep doing it. And if it's not hitting the spot, Try something else. Just try to find something that includes you in the care that you're giving to your family at least once a week, if not every single day.

And remember that just because you're trying to create a routine doesn't mean that it can't be adjusted. We are constantly growing and evolving and changing as not only mothers, but humans in general. And so it's really important to have that flexibility, not only in when things are going to happen, but how it's going to happen as well.

The season that you're in, the energy levels that you have that day, all of these things need to go into play when you are creating your routine. And when you're executing your routine so that you have the space and the grace to give yourself to adjust as needed. Now, if you are really interested in creating a routine, but you have no idea where to start, you feel like you're doing your day as best you can, But nothing's really fitting, you're still bone tired at the end of the day, and you just feel lost in terms of how to include yourself in this care.

Then I would love to have a quick energy strategy call with you, and I can give you some personalized support to create a routine that works. For your unique family dynamic, because the four walls of my home is not going to look the same as the four walls of your home. What I need to feel good is not going to be the same as what you need to feel good.

So, if you join me on a call, we can work together to simplify your day and find some energy boosting habits that will actually fit into your life. And until then, I'll catch you in the next one. Thank you so much for tuning in today. You can find the transcript and all the resources mentioned in the show notes below.

If this episode was helpful, I would really appreciate you leaving a five star rating and review so I can keep making it. Also, I wanna make sure this podcast actually answers your wellness questions if you've got a specific question about how to implement more wellness into your already filled day.

Send me a DM on Instagram at everwellcoaching so I can share resources or create a future episode just for you. Stay tuned for our next episode and until then, remember to take a moment each day to do something that fills your cup, mama.